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When talking about dating and being in a relationship, one usually does not think about money and savings. At least, not in the first couple of dates.
However, money in a relationship is more important that one may think. Two people may have completely different life expectations money-wise.
For that reason, it is crucial to have conversations regarding money management at the beginning of a relationship, so that no sides would be disappointed later on.
When is the right time to talk to your partner about money?
Having the conversation about money might make one feel a bit uncomfortable and even drag people away from each other. Whatever happens, it is still significant to talk about the financial aspects before committing to a serious relationship.
Overall, it is hard to guess the right moment to strike a money conversation. However, it might be a good idea to initiate such talks when both parties are comfortable with each other.
How should one start the chat?
A question that should not be the biggest problem on the first or second date might be -- how much do you earn for a living?
Most people nowadays would not be offended by that question and would like to share the most basic information about their monetary situation.
Other aspects which could be easily discussed are promotions and work opportunities. One can be keen to learn about salary increment or promotion opportunities in the career of one’s future life partner. Both can share their thoughts about how their lives would be once they get a salary hike or promotion in their respective careers.
No matter what question will be the first to pop up, taking it slowly and steadily is often a good strategy.
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Raise broader questions for a lengthy discussion
If a person is asked: what you would do if…, he/she will become more engaged in the conversation and provide a broader answer to the question.
Once there is an open-ended question on the table, the individual who has asked it will get a sense of financial priorities and long-term ambitions of his partner.
Be creative with questions, and it is assumed that in that way responses will be more satisfying than the time of close-ended queries.
What to do when the relationship is becoming more serious?
Once partners have established how much they earn and what they expect in their respective lives, it could be useful to set a shared plan, as well as the budget.
One party could start the talk by mentioning his financial goals and how he wants to achieve them. If the other partner responds positively, the couple could open a joint account and start working towards the discussed target.
What if there is still an uncomfortable feeling?
Even after a few months of dating, some couples may find it weird to initiate the money talks. One factor that almost always works is to say that one had read a money-related article and ask the other person to share his thoughts on the subject.
When citing a third-party source, the dialogue will feel less tensed and forced.
Finally, it is important never to judge your partner when it comes to money. It is normal to be in reasonable debt, as numerous people come from different upbringings. Accept the fact that most individuals will need a loan from the bank to cover their expenses, and instead try to work out how to pay it sooner than moving to a serious relationship.
