An American witch who is sexually and romantically attracted to herself has had a self-marriage ceremony on Halloween, involving sacrifices such as Reece’s peanut butter cups and apple juice to Pagan gods while wearing a witches costume, and has said she now has a “heightened sense of fulfilment, peace, and security within”.
Ghia Vitale, 33, a senior editor at Quail Bell Magazine, from Long Island, New York, first learned about sologamy – the practice of marrying yourself – in May 2017 and on the same day, she “mentally” asked herself to marry herself.
The witch had the self-marriage ceremony, which is not legally binding, on Halloween 2023, to celebrate her “dark side” in her bedroom, wearing a black witch costume, and decorated her altar with a statue of The Venus of Willendorf, who she believes looks like her, to “honour (her) fat body.”
The ceremony began with the offering of sacrifices – such as Reese’s peanut butter cups, apple juice, and tealight candles – to Pagan gods, as well as tracing her wedding necklace over a pentagram “as a blessing”.
Ghia repeated her self-written vows to herself, and secured the necklace around her neck, and “became married to (herself) from that moment onward”.
She has not yet consummated the marriage through self-pleasure, but has said she is “not worried” because she is with someone who is “willing to wait”.
Since being married, Ghia feels “validated and complete” in a way she “never thought possible”, and would encourage others to become sologamists.
Ghia told PA Real Life: “I feel like a more complete person now – now that I’ve finally performed my self-marriage ceremony, I feel a heightened sense of fulfilment, peace, and security within myself.
“It’s become clear to me that marrying myself is something I’ve needed to do for myself for a while.
“Although my self-marriage ritual was purely spiritual and non-legally binding, validating my relationship with myself in a ritual was very moving and even therapeutic – no amount of love or reassurance from others could provide me with the feelings of completeness I’ve been experiencing ever since I performed my self-marriage ritual.”
Ghia first learned about sologamy in May 2017 when she came across an article online.
She said: “I wanted to marry myself immediately after I found out about sologamy.
“I am both autosexual, sexually attracted to myself, and autoromantic, romantically attracted to myself, which is why the idea of marrying myself is so appealing to me.
“Because I considered myself to be in a relationship with myself when I learned about sologamy, I immediately realised that was the next step to take with my self-relationship as soon as I learned about it.”
On the same day she learned about sologamy, on May 22 2017, Ghia proposed to herself.
She explained: “I mentally asked myself to marry myself – I mentally paused for a few seconds, then internally responded ‘yes’ to myself.”
Ghia also identifies as a witch, and had her self-marriage ceremony on Halloween 2023 as it is her favourite seasonal celebration.
She said: “I call (Halloween) ‘Samhain’ like many other pagans and witches do.
“Samhain has always been my favourite day of the year for both festive reasons and occult reasons – I wanted to hold my self-wedding during the dark half of the year to focus on honouring my dark side and exploring my shadows instead of avoiding or suppressing them.”
Ghia said she almost postponed her self-marriage ritual entirely due to illness, but antibiotics allowed her to perform a low-key ritual on Halloween.
Ghia had the ceremony in her bedroom, wearing a black witch costume, and decorated her altar with a red gingham cloth and a statue of The Venus of Willendorf.
She said: “The Venus of Willendorf is the depiction of Venus I relate to the most because she looks the most like me – I did it to honour my fat body that I find attractive and hot despite society’s hatred for fat bodies.
“To represent the powers blessing my self-marriage, I had a tealight candle holder that is also a representation of Venus along with a slate, circular tile with Astaroth’s seal on it.”
Ghia’s ceremony started with offering sacrifices to Venus and Astaroth, she explained: “For fire, I lit another red tealight candle, for air, I lit patchouli incense, for earth, I ate a Reese’s peanut butter cup, and for water, I drank a chalice full of apple juice.
“I offered my original poetry to them as an additional sacrifice and act of appreciation – it’s a poem I wrote that was specifically inspired by Venus and Astaroth.”
Instead of a wedding ring, Ghia has a wedding necklace, and traced it over a pentagram “as a blessing”.
She said: “I held the black necklace as I enchanted the necklace to strengthen my sense of self-love, self-confidence, and self-worth, all while attracting more love into my life.
“After that, I repeated my sonnet-vows to myself that will eventually be published in the future.
“I secured the black necklace around my neck and became married to myself from that moment onward.”
Ghia has not consummated her self-marriage through self-pleasure yet, she said: “I’m not worried, though, because I’m with someone who’s willing to wait until I’m ready.”
Ghia celebrated her first day of self-marriage by listening to music and eating Reese’s peanut butter cups, and is now planning on having a wedding celebration with her loved ones.
She said: “My friends are happy for me, a few of my family members have also expressed to me that they are happy for me.”
On what would happen if she wanted to have a legally binding marriage to another person, she said: “My self-marriage would remain in effect if I were to ever desire marriage with another person.
“Self-marriage is about honouring your connection with yourself, especially since that connection impacts your life so significantly – me having a good relationship with myself is good for my other relationships and my overall well-being.
“However, I would not even consider dating someone who had a problem with my autosexuality, autoromanticism, or self-marriage – that’s the kind of serious incompatibility I can’t overlook or put aside.”
To others considering sologamy, she said: “I suggest that you read up about it, then go for it.
“I suggest sologamy for people who simply want to commit to self-love with a ritual. Self-marriage ultimately represents treating yourself with the same level of love, respect, and care you’d give to a significant other.
“I especially suggest sologamy if you, too, are autosexual or autoromantic.
“Marrying myself made me feel validated and complete in a way I never thought possible until I actually did it.”